Thieves,...City of the living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First..... Home of Imotet, Pharaoh's high Priest, keeper of the dead...... Birth place of Aunatsu Annamune, the Pharaoh's mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her.......but for their love they were willing to risk life itself. Enter Pharaoh Seti the first to say What are you doing here? Who has touched you? Imotet!.My Priest.......Oops, wrong story,....that's The Mummy vs the Gunny....
As I was trying to think of a way to open my Peanut butter, in walks the Doctor. Salvation has arrived, and soon I will be enjoying it. How are you feeling asked the Doctor? Fine I said however, my shoulder still hurts just as it did before the surgery. Well, we will have to keep an eye on it, You know you were pretty damn lucky when that bullet hit you. Excuse me I replied I was shot!. Gunny, back then the bullets were designed to go through and shatter the bones and then fragment in to little pieces to cause maximum damage to both the bones and muscles. Your bullet bounced off the bone and fragmented into the muscle so it could have been a lot worse. Wow,I said, I'm sure glad they didn't tell me that back then. Why is that he asked. Well,It was bad enough me going through the jungle thinking I was bullet proof, can you imagine what my squad would have thought with me going through the jungle with the Man of Steel complex......We both laughed and he said I'll stop back in latter today, and then he left. Still laughing , I thought oh NO!. My laughter had come to an end, I had forgotten about the unopened jar.
Not wanting to admit defeat to Capt.T Rex, I hit my meds button and and hid the jar next to my side under the sheets and of to la la land I went before Capt. T Rex came back. I don't know how long I was out but I do know I must have really been dreaming hard about what could have been had the jar been opened. I could actually smell the fresh aroma of the Jif peanut butter. Then to wreck a wonderful dream I hear a voice whispering in my ear,...Gunny are you awake yet.......Gunny wake up now...It was Capt. T Rex, and what made matters even worse was that she had the smell peanut butter on her breath. It's a good thing I only took one hit of the meds, anymore and I would have only woke up to put a lip lock on her just to get a taste of the peanut butter...(that would have been a story to write home about) LOL
Lunch had arrived. Capt. T Rex, with a smile on her face, did ask me how I enjoyed my peanut butter.....Busted, she knew I didn't get it opened. She offeredto put some Jif on my toast and I gladly Accepted. There was heaven in front of me, a large bowl of grits and butter, toast(white bread) with jiff on them, and a carton of factory chocolate milk. Life just doesn't get any better than this, especially as hungry as I was. As much as I hate to say it and as unholy as it may sound, as hungry as I was those grits could have been instant grits and I would still have sucked them down in a heart beat, all day long....(Now that's true hunger).....My mind is in bliss, my belly is full and now it is off to la lA land as I hit the meds button......
Private room and the big Oops.......
When I awoke next I was in a private room. I now had access to those cute little student nurses,.....I was going to have some fun now. Still a little groggy the first student nurse came into my room. She smiled at me and said, Gunny when you need to use the restroom just let us know and we will help you get out of bed. I looked at her and said not to worry I had just went to the restroom. She stood there with a blank and strange look on her face. You went to the restroom by yourself she asked. Oh boy I thought. I got a bright one here.Yes I said, It's not that hard to do. Again with a blank look on her face she said, But Gunny how did you get out of your bed by yourself? Duh, I said I have a catheter. With a half way smile on her face she said but Gunny we removed your catheter while you were still asleep. Oops was all I could say.....On the brighter side of things was that I got a new bed and an extra sponge bath........life is just too sweet sometimes.....after everything was said and done it was off to la la land again before Capt. T Rex could come in and give me some crap about my pottie breaks......Too late here she was with a portable bed pan. She said in case you need to go again please try and use this. And with a smirk she said, just in case you were wondering you pee into this end first....and what ever you do Gunny, please do not put any soup in it and she then started to laugh. While I was in la la land she had read the Lesson learned story where I mistook a chamber pot for a soup serving dish and ruined one of the wife's dinner parties.....Oh, I said, five thousand comedians out of work and I'm stuck with you.......Isn't that just wonderful, and to think I'm your keeper too, she said. This is going to be a long stay here......
The next time I woke up the girls were changing the bandages and there was a small problem. Somehow I had developed an infection. The girls went to get Capt. T Rex and when she came in she said what now? as if I had done it on purpose. She looked at the shoulder and said she will be right back. We waited and waited and waited....she finally came back and put some antibiotic in my IV. Keep an eye on this she told the girls. Not feeling well, I did manage to muster up enough strength to play a good joke on Capt.T Rex. I had one of the girls go to the kitchen and get me a large glass of chicken broth. and the other girl was sent to supplies to get me a new bed pan. I'll teach Capt. T Rex to put me on a chicken broth and jello diet......I poured the chicken broth into the bed pan and set it on the table like I was waiting to have it emptied. Next I waited or the arrival of Capt. T Rex's next visit and when she entered my room I acted like I had just woken up and was still groggy. I said Water and I then poured the chicken broth into my drinking glass. As I started to take a drink she saw this and yelled No Gunny, flying across the room to slap the glass out of my hand. Lord, I laughed so hard I thought I was going to rip the stiches out of my shoulder. Then seeing the look on Capt. T Rex's face I thought she might rip them out instead...The girls were laughing until she asked who had helped me and I managed to stop laughing long enough to yell run for it girls.......Capt. T Rex whispered in my ear, Gunny this isn't over with yet.....
To be continued in part 4 or Capt. T Rex vs the Gunny